Let's start with the basic premise that I am usually indifferent and occasionally hostile to fighting games. Every time I visit a mall I end up wandering by the coin-op arcade, harboring a slim hope somewhere in the back of my head that there might be something new and interesting to play. But while there may be a new machine occasionally, there's nothing very new about it these days. The diverse and wonderful arcades of my youth have been all but wiped out by Super Mortal Fighter Kombat Turbo IX.
Add to this mix my respect and admiration for the California based software company 7th Level. These guys created a whole new kind of thingy with Monty Python's Complete Waste of Time, not to mention making one of the best children's entertainment programs around, Tuneland. When I found out that 7th Level was finally releasing a straightforward game, I was very interested and curious to see what they would come up with. Imagine my reaction in finding out that this product was a fighting game! Battle Beast already had me locked in battle ... with myself.
The premise of Battle Beast revolves around an invasion of icky poisonous toads, led by a warty old codger known as The Toadman. The toads hop around the city, popping up in the most inconvenient of places and pretty much grossing everybody out. To counter these vile amphibians, many people are buying the latest in home security, the Battle Beast! Under normal peacetime conditions, it's a cute and lovable pet. But when the chips are down, the guns come out! Your adorable doggie (or fish, or turtle, or whatever) sprouts armor and grows to double its former size!
The observant among you will have already figured out that this is not exactly your normal fighting game. It's a satire of the form, a novelty game like ClayFighter and Brutal: Paws of Fury. In fact, if you are a real aficionado of the genre, Battle Beast might well drive you into a frenzy of frustration. No matter how many buttons are on your pad, you only use two of them and the directional keys to do everything in this game. Does that sound overly simplistic? Well, to me it sounds like a normal human being might actually be able to remember all the permutations that make up the special moves catalog.
There are six different Battle Beasts available, each with its own combat techniques and specialties. In addition to regular claw-to-paw maneuvers, each beast also has a gun installed in its schnozz with a limited number of bullets. There also secret power-ups available to exchange the bullets for fire, water, lasers, or what-have-you. The special moves can get pretty fancy. For example, the goldfish-bot can puff into a huge puffer fish and then roll over the enemy. But don't waste these moves, since they're as finite as the bullets.
You can take on your opponent for as many battles in as many different places as you want in Boot Camp, or you can tackle the War campaign mode. In War, you zip through the sewers going from battleground to battleground. If you arrive first, you can spend a few seconds squishing bloated toads (and they do make such a satisfying SQUISH!) before your enemy catches up. If you win at a majority of the locations, you enter combat with the ferocious Toadman! He's not just a wrinkled old man, either. He's got a morphed form of his own, and just guess what armored animal he turns into.
The Transformers-style morphing adds an unusual strategy element. It's not necessarily a great idea to stay big and bad all the time. When you're small and adorable, bullets tend to fly right over your head, and you also have access to a nifty hand-held weapon. But small also means vulnerable should the other guy actually get a shot in, and you can't do much dodging either.
All of this bizarro action is presented in a Tex Avery-ish style of animation, with lots of bulging eyeballs and outrageous sight gags. While the images are very sharp, the motion gets more than a little choppy on occasion. This might have something to do with the fact that the game runs out of Windows. But despite a few speed bumps, the visuals are the real selling point of Battle Beast. This is a very silly game. Like the Monty Python Waste of Time, the player is treated to a different animated introduction every time they play, horrible and hilarious depictions of the toads infiltrating America.
Battle Beast is not a game for the hardened puncher-kicker addict. They will probably just get annoyed with the simplified controls, not to mention the fact that a beast cannot fight himself (oooo, what a burn). But if you're looking for a little action and a lot of laughs, this is the one. 7th Level's first entry into the PC game market is a Beast!
